


Moon River

by orphan_account



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M, Gift Fic, One Shot, One True Pairing, Romance, Songfic, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-21
Updated: 2011-06-21
Packaged: 2017-11-06 11:14:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/418246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two drifters on a moonlit night. Post-Eclipse AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moon River

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kissa621](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=kissa621).



> This is a birthday giftfic for kissa621, who wanted Bella and Jacob inspired by Breakfast at Tiffany's. It's also a songfic written with "Moon River," the song Audrey Hepburn sings in the film. I highly recommend you either Google the lyrics or watch the video. Thanks to jkane180 for beta'ing.
> 
> Twilight and all its recognizable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer.

The moon spreads a blanket of soft white light across the calm waters in front of Bella. She's never really adjusted to Washington's weather, but she's acclimated enough to be wearing a tank top with her jeans instead of her usual flannel overshirt tonight. It's July, after all, and she's just come from dinner with her soon-to-be in-laws, where she drank more wine than was healthy thanks to Carlisle's Old World habits and Edward's absence. Now she's drunk, although she thinks she hid it well enough to fool the Cullens. Jacob will know, though, the instant he shows up. God knows why he wanted her to come out here at this hour of the night. She almost broke a leg hiking up the short trail from the parking lot to the banks of the Sol Duc.

"Hey Bells," he greets her, and she nearly starts out of her skin.

"Jake!" She almost hugs him out of habit, but at the last moment remembers that engaged girls—no, women, she's a woman now, because you have to be a grown-up to get married, so that makes her a woman—don't hug boys who aren't their fiancés the way she and Jacob always hug. Instead she gives a quick, stupid half-wave and shoves her hands into her back pockets to keep them out of trouble.

He raises his eyebrows in ironic disapproval, but chooses not to remark on her avoidance, instead asking, "Are you cold? I should've told you to bring a jacket."

"No, I'm okay. It's pretty warm still." Great. They're talking about the weather. Perfect. She wishes _so much_ he hadn't ruined everything, with all his declarations of _love_ and _devotion_ and "I want you to choose me, not him" and everything else that's made things so damn awkward… But then again, she didn't help, did she, when she told him she wanted everything he could offer her, but it wasn't enough. It still isn't enough. So she looks up at the sky and remarks, "There aren't many clouds tonight. It's beautiful."

"Yeah, it's perfect for what I had planned." He disregards her attempts to avoid physical contact entirely, tugging her wrist until one hand slips free of its denim confinement and he can lace his fingers through it. "C'mon, let's go." Leading her forward to the short dock, he stops at one post and begins to unwind a white rope from it. For the first time, she notices the small dinghy rocking in the water next to them.

"Is this yours?" she asks, glancing at his face nervously.

"Can't be Quileute and not own a couple of boats," he responds without really paying attention. He's busy stepping into the boat and holding himself steady against the wood of the dock. "Okay. Come here and hold my hand."

Bella's not steady on the best of days, but all the white wine with her fish at dinner means that she's wobbly on dry land at the moment. She looks dubiously from his outstretched arm, to the boat, to the water. "I don't think this is a good idea."

Jacob rolls his eyes. "I swear I won't try to attack you. Get over here."

"No, it's not that," she hastens to explain. "It's just that I'm kind of…"

First he sniffs, and then he breaks into a genuine grin, the kind of grin she hasn't often seen since she left for Italy. "Holy shit. You're drunk, aren't you?"

Sheepishly, she shrugs. "So what?"

"Nothing. Just surprised Daddy Ed allowed it."

Bella scowls and steps back. "If you're gonna be mean I'm not staying."

He instantly wipes the grin away and says solemnly, "Sorry. I promise I won't be mean. You didn't drive here yourself, did you?"

Bella shakes her head, restraining the urge to seize her head while she does so to keep it from sloshing inside. "No, Alice brought me. Okay. I'll get in."

After a suspicious glance at his face, she grasps his hand again and makes to step into the boat. She pushes it away from the dock with her awkward momentum, though, and ends up half-in, half-out of the boat. The half that's out is in the river.

Jacob laughs his ass off as he pulls her entirely into the boat. "Wow. I didn't mean to let that happen but that was epic."

Bella glares at him while she tries fruitlessly to wring out the soaked fabric of her jeans leg. "I don't believe you. You totally meant to do it."

His expression goes soft, and she still knows him well enough to recognize the thought behind it ( _you're so cute_ ), but instead he says, "Nah. Don't want to ruin tonight, after all." With a casual shove from one oar, he sends them adrift. A few strokes later, and they're in the center of the river, drifting around the first bend.

It's colder out on the water, summer or no, and Bella wraps her arms around her to ward off the chill. It doesn't work. She gives Jacob a sidelong glance and surprises him doing the same to her. "I'm freezing," she hears herself complain. She wants to smack her own forehead. Normally she wouldn't give him that kind of opening. Damn wine.

In silent response, he scoots over on his bench cautiously and extends his arm. Before she knows how she got there, she's tucked into her side and they're both gazing upward. The current carries them slowly but steadily downstream; he just has to redirect them every once in a while with a single shove on one side of the boat or the other.

Bella breaks the silence at last because she's afraid of what she'll say accidentally if she doesn't. "Why did you ask me to come out here tonight?"

"Have you ever done this before?" he asks. She shakes her head no. "Yeah, didn't think so. Well, once you're a leech you won't be able to. You'll be too heavy. If you get into a boat like this, it'll sink. I want to help you do all the things you've never done before and won't be able to do again."

She wants to be offended, but his voice is flat, matter-of-fact, not derisive in the least. And it's true, she knows. The only way Victoria could swim was by keeping constantly moving through very deep water. "I guess after Edward changes me, I'll just have to cross the river in style. Yacht or something."

He snorts and shrugs. "Sure. Whatever. But it won't be the same."

"No, it won't," she murmurs wistfully. Involuntarily, she snuggles closer and turns her face into his chest. "I wish… I wish we wanted the same things out of life, Jake."

"I think we do."

He sounds so _certain._ She wishes she could be that certain of everything. The ring weighing down her left hand reminds her: there's one thing certain. Edward's love. It's the real reason she said yes. The sex was a nice side-benefit but she knows she could have orgasms by herself just fine. She wants forever.

"We both want forever with the person we love," Jake states, unconsciously mimicking her thought. She starts at the external echo. "We're after the same pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, Bells. We just want it from different people."

"I guess you're right." One of her hands has ended up on his upper thigh, but she can't remember why that's not okay, so she leaves it there.

"We both want to see the world."

"Yeah, that's true too."

"The difference is, you'll mainly see it at night. If I get to go, at least I'll still be able to walk around in the sunshine."

This is also true. Bella knows that, knows she can't argue, but she tries anyway. "I can go around during the day."

"If you live… where? They said Alaska, Isle of Skye, Forks, and Siberia… Is that right?"

She nods, burrowing deeper into his embrace. She knows she's warm enough now but that doesn't mean anything. He feels so _good._ Hot and so much softer than stone.

"That's not exactly a wide range of places, Bells. What about Mexico? Peru? Or Brazil—you're the one who told me you wanted to visit Rio. You didn't mention you only wanted to see it after the sun went down."

She shrugs. "I'm sure there are plenty of people who mainly go out at night there."

"Yeah, you're probably right. I bet some of them aren't even hookers or drug dealers."

With a smack, she leans back to scowl at him a little. "You're being ridiculous."

"Sure, sure, I know. So you're definitely going to Tanzania, though. Or India."

Bella frowns. It's so hard to think right now, with everything fuzzy and the water rippling past and the moon turning the surroundings romantic without any effort and Jacob's husky voice vibrating next to her. "No, I don't… I don't think so."

"Oh. Well, that sucks." He leaves it at that.

"I just… I feel trapped in Forks, you know?" She knows she's not making much sense, but the words won't come out right. "It's so small, and I'm glad I came because otherwise I never would've met Edward or you and I never would've gotten to know Charlie better, but sometimes I feel like I'm in a cage. It's nice to have someone who has the money to get me where I need to go. Renée raised me on a kindergarten teacher's salary; we never went farther than Sedona. And even if I get to go to just four other places it's better than staying in one tiny place, right?"

"There's a lot of world to see," he agrees, but somehow it sounds like a contradiction.

For no real reason, Bella feels defensive. "What? Are you trying to _make_ me dream of being human or something stupid? In a body that gets old… and broken… and doesn't work right… No thank you. You're immortal, you don't understand _anything_."

"I understand that you're breaking my heart!" Jacob snaps, dropping his arm and turning on her. "I'm trying _not_ to talk about that; I'm not trying to be some kind of dream maker for you, Bella."

He's right. She knows she's being unfair. Throwing her arms around his waist before she can think the action through, she says, "I'm sorry. You're right."

After a second, his arm encircles her once more. "It's okay."

It's not really okay, of course, so she blurts, "I wish we could be like little kids and have take-backs and Let's Pretend. I'd take back everything I ever said that led you on and we could pretend I never did any of it."

Jacob chuckles darkly. "Now that's something _I've_ never done."

"You've never taken back anything you've said?" Bella finds that hard to believe. He speaks without really thinking it through pretty often around her.

"No, played Let's Pretend."

"Never?" she demands. What kind of little kid was he?

"Nope. I was always pretty happy with life in general when I was little, so I stuck with tag and soccer, and when my mom died, I had to grow up fast or my dad would've died too. No time for playing house when you're figuring out the directions on a box of low-carb pasta and trying not to burn yourself dumping it out."

"Wow." That's all she can come up with in response. She tries to remember if she _had_ to cook, or if she just learned by watching her mother… It's too long ago and she's had too much to drink to dredge the memory to the surface. "Well, you said you want me to do things I've never done before… Now it's your turn. You have to play Let's Pretend."

He laughs. "Life's pretty unrealistic for both of us at the moment, Bells. Know anybody else who's watched one vampire decapitate another while a werewolf tears a third leech to pieces?"

The absurdity beneath the truth has her giggling. "No! But it's still worth a shot. C'mon. Play Let's Pretend with me."

Jake laughs at her but says, "Fine. What're we pretending?"

"It's your game, so you have to come up with it."

"Okay… Let's Pretend… Can I say anything?"

"Yes. Anything G-rated," she clarifies, because suddenly she's suspicious of his dreams.

"Fine; there goes my fantasy of Quil and Embry naked on a bull's back," he pretends to mourn. She snorts in horrified amusement, and he continues, "Let's Pretend… that we never have to get off this boat. That we're leaving to explore the world together. That wherever you're going, I'm going the same way. We'll drift to the ocean and then down the coast."

Bella giggles, leaning her head against his bare shoulder. "How will we get money?"

"We'll turn into pirates. Or! No, I know. I've got a decent body because of this werewolf thing. I'll turn into a gigolo and get a rich lady to pay me money just to sleep with her."

 _I'll be a rich lady soon_ is on the tip of Bella's tongue, but she swallows the words in the nick of time. "Excellent plan. I'll also sell my body for boat repair money."

"Good. And one day we'll have to pretend to be married to keep the con going."

"Absolutely. It happens."

"So I'll get a fake ring out of a box of Cracker Jacks or one of those vending machines at grocery stores. We'll get it engraved so it looks real."

"Because people always check the inside of a ring to make sure it's genuine."

"Right. We'll get a cat and train it to snatch people's wallets while we distract them by showing them the ring and trying to get them to appraise it for us. 'What do you mean it's not real? Of course it's real! Do you know how much I paid for it?' 'Oh look, Jake, the cat's outside.' 'Seventy-five cents! Thanks for your time!'"

"That's one smart cat."

"Nah, he'll be as stupid as any other cat. We'll just have a ton of fish to train him with, because of living on the ocean and everything."

"What should we name him?"

"I dunno. Ocean? Croker? Ponzi?"

"No. I think he should be nameless. That way we don't have to buy him a new tag every time we change our identities."

"You're disturbingly good at this game."

"It's how I spent years on end in between cleaning up Renée's messes and burying my head in a book."

"Did you ever play Let's Pretend and have it go, 'Let's Pretend I meet a dead guy and beg him to kill me too?'"

The suddenness of the attack sends a rush of cold over her skin like she's been dipped in ice. She jerks back, away from his hostility. "What the hell, Jake? Edward's not dead!"

"No beating heart equals dead, Bells." Jacob doesn't seem to be angry. He's staring over the side of the boat into the water. As she watches, he leans to dip his fingers into the ripples running alongside them. "You'll be dead too. Don't fool yourself. Or play Let's Pretend, whatever."

It's so hard to think straight right now. "I… I'm not playing."

"No, guess not. That's a kind of permanent end game."

"Yeah…" Confused, Bella looks over her side and nearly tumbles over when she leans too far. Jake catches the back of her tank top but, misjudging the force required, rips it a little in his grip. Bella gasps, instinctively grabbing behind her at the same time Jake pulls her into him. Looking up, she sees him staring at her breasts, exposed by the way his hand's dragged the fabric down. The expression transports her back to that mountaintop, and her arms are around his neck and his lips are on hers and this time it's not horrible or furious but just soft mouth and tongues brushing and pulsing against each other as his scruff stings her chin and his fingers dig into the small of her back.

She pulls back as soon as she feels the ring turn inward when she buries her hand in his hair. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I should'nt've…" Jacob shakes his head wordlessly at her as she tries to find the right apology, and she stutters into silence.

"You feel like you're going to be in a cage if you stay here? Well, honey, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself." He picks up her hand, hanging limply at her side, and indicates the ring. "This is just the lock on the door."

Bella rubs her eyes with her free wrist as tears spring unbidden from their corners. She's spent so much time crying during the past few months that sometimes she can't _wait_ until she doesn't have working tear ducts anymore. "I can't, Jake. I can't… Everything's so messed up and I can't decide what to do."

"You could decide to wait to go to Brazil till I can go with you," he suggests.

She bursts into soggy giggles. "That's a good idea. I can't go without my partner in crime. Or our cat."

"Right. We have to find the cat. Together."

When she hugs him this time, it's because he's her best friend, and she loves him. His embrace feels the same. Always the same. He's everything right, except when he's making her question everything she wants.

"I love you," she tells him, knowing it's pain and pleasure at once for him to hear, but unable to stop herself.

Just as she expected, he flinches a little, but his voice is utterly steady. "I love you too, Bells."

Bella wants to tell him something true that won't hurt him even a little bit, but she can't think of anything at the moment. All of her truths hurt her, too. Maybe his truths are double-edged as well. Opting to keep her mouth shut, she tries to show him what she's slowly coming to realize as she (carefully this time) leans over the edge. She takes off her ring and shoves it into her pocket before she trails her fingers in the cold and wet. When he gives her a questioning look, instead of saying, "I'm afraid I'll lose it," she says, "It's too heavy."

From the light that dawns in his eyes, she knows he understands.


End file.
